Just Like Me
by I-Am-Your-Kobun
Summary: Dave was sure he could charm Karkat. Bulges were easy after all. Well, pretty much. His moves may have failed, but there's still hope for them...right?


TurntechGodhead [TG] joined chat

CarcinoGeneticist [CG] joined chat

CG: YOU FUCKING ASSWIPE.

TG: nice welcoming douche

CG: YOU'RE THE WORST FUCKING FRIEND EVER.

TG: so now were friends

CG: WE'VE BEEN FRIENDS DON'T ACT LIKE EVERYTHING IS A GODDAMN SURPRISE. IS THIS ONE OF YOUR WEIRD HUMAN CUSTOMS?

TG: no

TG: you just never called me your friend before

TG: so its weird

TG: just sitting here like wtf

TG: cause you come in cussing at me and then all of a sudden im your friend

CG: I ALREADY TOLD YOU IT WASN'T ALL OF A SUDDEN YOU FUCKASS.

CG: ALL OF THIS IS FOR YOU TELLING JOHN I LIKE HIM OR SOMETHING AND THEN HIM BEING ALL WEIRD AROUND ME.

CG: WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR PROBLEM?

TG: i enjoy pissing you off

TG: i thought you knew that by now

TG: maybe you're dumber than i thought

CG: FUCK YOU.

CG: I'M NOT DUMB.

CG: YOU'RE DUMB FOR TELLING SOMEONE SOMETHING SO STUPID AND UNTRUE.

CG: WHAT IF HE HATES ME NOW?

TG: nah

TG: egberts cool

TG: he wont hate you

TG: he'll probably forget by tomorrow anyway

TG: with his crooked smile

TG: pretty fucking adorable one huh

CG: I DON'T NEED YOU GETTING ONE OF YOUR HUMAN BULGES IN OUR CONVERSATION.

CG: GO GET ONE SOMEWHERE ELSE YOU SICK FUCK

TG: i don't think im the sick fuck here

TG: no

TG: you totally want me bulging for you

TG: but i bet you have your own right now

CG: I DON'T BULGE EASY LIKE YOU DO, THINKING ABOUT MY FRIENDS.

TG: thats where you're wrong

TG: youre swooning like a bitch over there huh

CG: TRY ALL YOU WANT

CG: YOU WON'T GET ANYTHING FROM ME

TG: well just see

CG: WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?

TG: youre coming to my house

CG: AND WHAT WOULD I BE DOING AT YOUR PATHETIC HUMAN ABODE?

TG: to watch movies

TG: let me make you bulge like the swooning mother fucker you are

TG: the norm

CG: I DOUBT *YOUR* MOVIES WILL BE ABLE TO MAKE ME BULGE

CG: AND EVEN IF YOU DO

CG: I WILL SNAP YOUR SHITTY LITTLE GLASSES IN HALF.

TG: not the shades

TG: anyway

TG: get your ass off of the computer and come over

CG: STUPID HUMANS AND THEIR STUPID CUSTOMS.

CG: FINE.

With a grumble, Karkat went over to the transportalizer and appeared in Dave's living room. Much to Karkat's surprise, Dave was shirtless. "What the fuck Strider! You knew I was coming! Why don't you have on a goddamn shirt?!" Dave shrugged "It's not like you don't ever, not wear a shirt."

Karkat was irritated my the smirk on the blonde's face. "Why do you always smirk at me?" Dave fumbled through the shelf of movies. "Well, when your face is pink like that. It's kind of hard not to." Karkat's hand flew to his face. "What?" This was actually posing a challenge. The heat slowly faded and was gone when Dave turned around. "I'm not flushing for you anymore, so you stop being so cocky about winning this."

Dave held up the movie "Chick flicks right? You totally get off on these don't you?" The small trolls arms were crossed. "Romcoms, and no, shut up. I don't get off on romcoms." He seemed fairly confident, but Dave wasn't going let him off that easy.

He refused to sit in such a close vicinity of Dave, so Karkat had to sit in the less comfortable chair to escape him. He didn't even enjoy a bigger part of the movie because his butt was stiff with pain. Finally after yet another angry "Damn it." Dave got up and picked up Karkat, walking back over to the couch and sat down with him in his lap.

"Hey! I don't want to be in your lap!" Dave forced him closer by pressuring his ribs, the pain numbing Karkat's sides and making him submit. "You're fucking hurting me, you damn sadist." Dave smirked at him again "Wait to call me a sadist when we're in bed and you have a boner."

Karkat looked at the movie, and from enough romcoms, he knew what was coming, "So, this is, whoever gets a boner first loses right?" He held up a finger "Induced by the other person. Not the movie." Karkat grumbled. No way he would win now. Unless…

As the woman seductively led the swooning male character into her house and onto the bed, kissing was the key no doubt. The man in the movie went wild for the woman, so it had to work the same for Dave. He turned his head from the screen and stared at the blonde with innocent eyes.

Dave just smirked at him, and Karkat knew then that he had no idea what the troll had planned. His arms wrapped around his neck and then he knew, but with no time to protest as Karkat pushed his lips gently onto Dave's. Only when they needed breath did they pull apart, a small line of saliva still connecting them. "Damn."

He got a sour glare from Karkat "That's all you can say? Just damn?! Where's the bulge?!" He had not just put the moves on Dave just so he could end up losing. He looked back at the movie and then looked away. The moans from the people had gotten substantially louder since it had first begun.

Another idea. He needed to moan! Moaning would have to do it, but he didn't have time to put his plan into action before Dave had grabbed a hold on his right nub. "Gah! W-what the-?! You have no idea how that f-feels! Let go!" he bit his lip trying to pry his hand from the oh-so-sensitive part of himself.

"You think Gamzee didn't tell me what made you get in the mood? I would never have challenged you if I couldn't turn you on. I know about buckets dude." Karkat's face flushed red. "I'm gonna kill him." Dave only looked at him, straight in the eyes before he took his tongue and dragged it over the surface of his nubby horns.

You didn't hold back the moan because now was the time your plan couldn't fail. In fact, instead of holding it back he tried to amplify it. "Shit…" It had worked. "Full hard on or it doesn't count." Karkat glared and smirked at him.

Taking this as a challenge, Karkat attacked his lips with vigorous and arousing force. When he needed to moan, he let it out and it wasn't long before his plan had succeeded. "Looks like I win Strider." Dave smirked at him "So do I." Karkat knitted his brows in confusion "What?" Dave's hand maneuvered under the trolls shirt and all around his stomach and chest.

The kiss was so deep and long that it almost made him want to gag. Leaning back, he forced Dave's kiss to end, and the blonde to catch him. "I'm not going all the way with you! Keep your stupid hands off my torso and to yourself." He got out of his lap and walked over to the transporter.

Dave didn't apologize, he only let Karkat leave with a sullen and grudging goodbye. Leaning back with a sigh, he put his shirt back on and replayed the kiss in his head. _"He'll love you someday Dave…he can't resist a Strider. No one can. You're the man. He just…doesn't know how much you have in common yet." _

He took off his sunglasses and stared into the distanced mirror. Crimson eyes peering back at him. He hated these eyes. He hated them so much. People thought he was evil or possessed as a child, so the glasses helped him out. Dave knew Karkat wasn't looking forward to growing up. _"He's gonna be just like me. He's gonna hate himself. His eyes anyway. People acting unfair, because of his blood. So then what does that make me?" _


End file.
